Why I’m Cautiously Skeptical of “Single Drunk Female”
Early sobriety can be miserable and grueling, but for many people, overcoming alcohol addiction brings intense relief
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I started watching “Single Drunk Female,” a comedy series streaming on Freeform and Hulu (spoilers ahead). The story centers on Samantha “Sam” Fink (Sofia Black-D’Elia), a twenty-something who struggles to navigate the minefield that is early sobriety. After drunkenly punching her boss in the face with a phone, Sam gets fired, goes to rehab, and moves back to her hometown to live with her overbearing mother Carol (Ally Sheedy). But it’s not so easy for Sam to get a fresh start. After meeting up with her drinking buddy Felicia (Lily Mae Harrington), Sam relapses, crashing Carol’s car and waking up in jail.
As someone who used to have a problematic relationship with alcohol, the show’s premise intrigued me. And yet, while I enjoy watching the series and can relate to many aspects of the narrative (I’m currently on episode 4), I’m not sure how I feel about Sam’s character.
She reminds me a little too much of the “Hot Mess” trope: the young, pretty woman who gets wasted all the time but doesn’t think her drinking is harmful — either to herself or others. When Sam reluctantly attends her first court-mandated AA meeting, her future sponsor Olivia (Rebecca Henderson) asks her why she’s joined. Sam answers in the typical Hot Mess fashion: “Public intoxication, destruction of personal property, almost blinding my coworker, being awesome.”
As viewers, we don’t get much insight into how Sam’s out-of-control drinking affects her mental health. Again, this is a feature of the “Hot Mess” trope: when the “Hot Mess” is hungover, she looks hot — tousled hair, smudged eyeliner, come-hither eyes kind of hot. We rarely see her curled up in bed, with vomit in her hair, soaking in shame and self-hatred.
Everyone experiences addiction differently. But I would guess that most people who smuggle vodka in their water bottle when they stumble to work late — as Sam does — have, at the very least, mixed feelings about their drinking.
To be sure, getting sober can be a miserable experience, especially if you’re dealing with withdrawal symptoms (as Sam appears to be). And yet, for many people who struggle with alcohol addiction, sobriety also brings immense relief and joy, too, even if these feelings are fleeting. Sam doesn’t indicate that this is the case for her — it’s all just a big, unnecessary headache. “I miss being a drunk,” she tells her coworker after begrudgingly getting a job at a supermarket. “There’s a lot less accountability.”
In my opinion, this makes Sam’s character one-dimensional — and unrelatable. That’s the case despite efforts from the show creator Simone Finch to give Sam a vulnerable edge, based on Finch’s own experience with sobriety, she told The Boston Globe.
Although I’m cautiously skeptical about Sam’s ability to depict sobriety in all its complexity, other aspects of the storyline are spot on. “Just try to be a person. Brush your teeth, take a shower. You make your bed every day,” says Olivia, Sam’s sponsor, after picking her up from jail. This is excellent advice. Establishing a self-care routine is crucial in early sobriety, and achieving small tasks can help rebuild self-esteem.
I’m also intrigued by how the series makes a point of portraying Sam’s entourage (and society in general) as heavy drinkers. Her mother Carol drinks wine every night. “Don’t judge me for having some wine at night because everybody wants to have some wine at night. It’s hard to be a person,” a drunk Carol tells Sam. Then there’s Felicia, who lives for messy binge-drinking sessions. “I love you and your journey, but today is the day of my people. St Patrick’s day is like my Superbowl,” she tells Sam.
Neither of these two characters claims to have a problematic relationship with alcohol — but are they so different from Sam? That’s a difficult question, and one that I hope “Single Drunk Female” continues to explore.
This article is part of my sobriety series, where I examine society’s relationship to alcohol, as well as my own. If you’d like stories like this in your inbox, consider subscribing to my newsletter on Medium.
